Chapter 3 - To Mother, PRIVATE

At some point during his Royal Air Force service, Stephen felt the need to write a very special letter to his mother.  The letter is not dated but it seems likely that it was written during his training in South Africa



Dearest Mother

    Just a line in all seriousness to my Dear Dear Mother.  Mother I know how you think and worry about me, there is really no need as the casualty list here is the lowest possible, there has only been one fatal accident since the course began.

    But you know, in my job, things do happen and if anything happened to me I could not bear not to have written you such a letter as this, sometime in my life.

    I suppose, as I look back I realise I have not led a good life, apart from music there was nothing that meant much to me.  If I even understood myself, things would have been better and I might not have grieved you so much.  When I woke up this morning, the sun was shining, the sky was a lovely blue and it was just such a day when Jack and I woke up at Ambleside many moths ago.

    I never realized how wonderful those days were until now.

    Its funny how one appreciates the best things when it is too late - I wonder if ever those days will come again.

    Also I miss Martin, and I realize how I never realized before how much I loved Martin.  No man had a truer or a finer friend.  I wish I could seen Martin now and tell him everything.  He made me love real music and that was equal to making me believe in God for that was the only way I could see him.

    Don't grieve too much Mother Darling if anything happens to me as I am not worth it.

    Pray for me quietly and full of belief theat you will see me again, then believe me you will.

    Tennyson said "Many things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of."

Goodnight Mother